I’ve put the recipes aside for today, and want to focus my microscope on an issue that’s been plaguing the American food industry.
There’s long been a problem in this country with non-portable breakfast foods. Sure, we have yogurt, granola bars and bagels, but none of them clog my arteries the way I crave. It just seems like every time I want to eat something filling, I have to make it and then sit there and eat it. What a hassle.
I wish there was a way that I could wake up, unwrap some plastic and nuke me a breakfast that I could eat without getting a plate dirty.
Jimmy Dean, apparently, has been working to solve this problem. Their regular sausage products were fine and successful, but they’ve been pushing tirelessly to capture that I-wish-this-came-on-a-stick demographic. And now we have it, Jimmy Dean’s Pancake and Sausage on a Stick.
Wrapping a frozen sausage in a frozen pancake is
gross a perfectly reasonable breakfast food. But our intrepid explorers at Jimmy Dean couldn’t stop there – sausage in a maple pancake on a stick is too mundane, so they now offer “Chocolate Chip Pancakes & Sausage on a Stick” as well as “Blueberry Pancakes & Sausage on a Stick.” And if you still want the stomachache without the stick, they also come in stick-less “minis.” It’s make a great appetizer for a party where all of your guests hate food.
Jimmy Dean, in their corporate quest to appeal to the country’s youth, has fully integrated their website into social media. And while I forgot to promote them on my Facebook page, I did pull out one pretty insightful comment from a loyal fan.
Jennifer Shaw writes:
“I LIKE THE SAUSAGE PANACAKES BUT I WOULLD LIKE THEM HAVE THEM IN CHICKEN OR TURKEY I AM TRYING TO EAT HEALTY THANK YOU VERY MUCH JENNIFER SHAW”
Right on, Jennifer. Go healthy with the Chocolate Chip Pancakes & Chicken Sausage on a Stick.
For the record, each “unit” (pancake and sausage, probably not the stick) contains 230 calories, 13g of fat, 8g of sugar and 30 minutes of self-loathing.
But nothing tops Jimmy Dean’s other breakfast gem – the “bowl.” They come in all flavors, but the
worst best one looks to be the “Jimmy Dean Sausage, Eggs, Potatoes and Cheddar Cheese Breakfast Bowl.”
It comes in a bowl, so you can skip that step. And you don’t even need a fork, just jam your face into it. There’s not a lot to say about this one, except don’t eat it.
It puts up some impressive numbers, though. It clocks in at 390 calories, with 123% of your daily cholesterol (see, it saves even more time – you’ve already got cholesterol credits for tomorrow). It’s also got 52% of your daily fat intake, and 65% of your daily saturated fat.
Yum yum yum.
Keep it up, Jimmy Dean. Now that Chocolate/Pancake/Maple/Sausage sticks and bowls of fat are acceptable breakfast foods, there’s really no limit to where you can take us. The future is in your hands.