Papa John’s Classes Up the Royal Wedding

While the British elite are spending this week polishing tea sets and ironing their ascots in preparation for the big royal wedding this Friday, us Americans have been looking for ways to join in the fun.

Watch parties have been planned, bets have been taken on whether “Carol Middleton [will] be spotted chewing gum at the wedding” (odds are 25/1, fyi) and gossip magazines have flown off the supermarket shelves – but there’s still a sense that Americans aren’t celebrating with the enthusiasm expected of us by our former overlords.

But Papa John’s, the world’s 3rd largest pizza factory, has done us all a favor and stepped up to the plate for the Americans.

They have created a monstrosity piece of food art that is so classy, it’s making the rest of the developed world nervous.

Papa Johns Royal Wedding Pizza

The Royal Wedding Pizza | Photo from Papa John's

The royal teeth are made from cheap Mozzarella and the royal suit is made from salami.  The skin is made from cultured human tissue.  Just kidding.

The work was commissioned by a “food artist,” according to Papa John’s.  It’s also available for delivery to residents in the UK, and comes with a hefty price tag (although I can’t seem to figure out how much – unconfirmed reports says $500 – and if someone pays that for that thing, I’ll lose my mind).

Pizza art, though, is not new.  It’s as American as baseball or apple pie, or cheating at baseball or making fast food apple pie. It’s an art form akin to French impressionism or Swiss furniture, and we’re lucky enough to live in a time where we get to watch it spread across the globe.

Joker Pizza Art

Died-too-Young Pizza Art | Photo from HubPages

Yoda Pizza Art

(Sea sick) Yoda Pizza Art | Photo by Cool Pictures

Obama Pizza Art

Better than a birth certificate | Photo by

Can’t wait to see what Papa John’s dreams up for Gaddafi’s retirement party.

One response to “Papa John’s Classes Up the Royal Wedding

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