I love taking pictures of things in the grocery store.
Not good photos. Not of colorful produce or smiling kids. Not of friendly workers or fresh baked breads.
I like pictures of the most vile, frozen, processed, absurd products that come out of the dingiest, decrepit New Jersey food mills.
(Also, I like pictures of abundance. Like the deodorant section at the Publix in St. Pete which, I kid you not, is at least 7 ft tall and 15 ft long).
I’m constantly amazed at the things that my local Publix adds to their shelves. There is so much stuff that defies logic, and I just can’t imagine anyone (and I mean anyone) buying it.
And, despite the embarrassment it causes to my wife, I’m not going to stop taking pictures of this stuff. I’ve talked about the wyngz already and the frozen bagels pre-stuffed with goo can wait. I’ve got a couple of doozies from today’s trip.
First up – perhaps the least appetizing bag of chips I’ve ever seen.
Chips can’t taste like chips anymore. They’ve got taste like pizza or chicken wings or chili and cheese, and I don’t know why. Frankly, I’m surprised there is an audience for these. But, for the record, there were only two bags left on the shelf. Including this one, which I put back.
Next up: (really, I don’t know what to say about this)
How bad does your food have to be before you start adding imitation macaroni and cheese flavored topping to it?
I passed this in the aisle, realized what it was in hindsight, walked backwards with the cart, picked it up and stared at it.
“Please put that down.”
“Please don’t take pictures of that.”
“But I have to…”
I just can’t believe this exists. And it exists at Publix – not at Spencer’s Gifts, but Publix. Not at a prank shop next to the whoopi cushions. At Publix. It’s mainstream.